Notes for Members
With the start of a new year members are reminded that they must have paid their BMFA subs to be insured and that they MUST NOT FLY without insurance. Members who pay through CPF should give their cheques for £31 (payable to BMFA) to Hon Sec Dave Hardy or post it to him at 5 Sharrington Drive, Baguley, Manchester M23 9PE,
The CPF annual general meeting on 16 November 2011 decided to keep club subs at the previous level of £10 for flying members (£5 for social and junior members). The subs are payable by the end of January to treasurer Nigel Grayson, either on the field or by post to 79 Ascot Ave, Sale, Cheshire, M334QT.
Annual General Meeting
The Club’s AGM was held at Bowdon Rugby Club on the evening of 16 November 2011.
CHAIRMAN’S REPORT: Tony Tomlinson wished the club a happy 21st birthday, having been founded in 1990 and was now “coming of age”. He told the meeting that it had been a difficult year with the takeover of the Ridgeway Road field by a new lessee and its greatly increased use for football matches, severely restricting our use for flying, especially now that short winter days restrict our flying anyway. However we still have the use of the Ponderosa field on the Bowdon Rugby club site. He appealed for anyone with any clue to any possible flying fields to follow it up immediately. He also told the meeting that there might be changes at Ridgeway road as the present operator seems to be in breach of not only several planning laws but may also in breach of the main lease of the playing field, which is actually owned by Trafford MBC.
SECRETARY’S REPORT In the absence of Dave Hardy a unanimous motion was passed wishing him a speedy recovery and best wishes for the outcome of his forthcoming stay in hospital.
TREASURER’S REPORT The treasurer once again raised his opposition to the £200 paid by the club to Bowdon Rugby Club and said he would resign if it was paid in 2012. The chairman said that this was a matter for the committee and the money was not payable until September 2012 so it could be left until then.
SAFETY OFFICER’S REPORT Mark Armstrong told the meeting that he was happy to report that there was very little to report with no major problems and added that he and Dave Johnson were still looking out for a new field.
ELECTION OF OFFICERS All officers were unanimously reelected. The committee remains Chairman, Tony Tomlinson; Vice Chairman, Jeff Box; Secretary, Dave Hardy; Treasurer, Reg Taylor; Competition Secretary, David Johnson; Safety Officer, Mark Armstrong.
Sandy Grayson (Social member) complained that club social events, such as a club meal were poorly supported even when they were organised and were attended by the same few people. Her offer to organise a Christmas “Do” was accepted by the meeting.
Peter Mack wanted free membership of the club for 2012 for all existing members in view of the problems with the field and announced that he would not be renewing his membership because of the lack of a flying site. The general feeling of the meeting was to retain the subs at the present level of £10. Chris Ratcliffe seemed more in tune with the general feeling when he said that he was prepared to pay his £10 as the situation at Ridgeway Road might improve or another site might be found.
Reg Taylor suggested that the Sale and Altrincham Messenger should be contacted with a view to getting publicity for the club and its search for a new site, in the hope of finding a farmer with a suitable field. It was agreed that he would do this.
Since the meeting Treasurer Reg Taylor has decided that he does not want to continue and has resigned. The committee has co-opted Nigel Grayson as treasurer on a temporary basis. If any member wishes to take over the post please get in touch with chairman Tony Tomlinson or Hon Sec Dave Hardy.
Competitions 2011
The curtailed Fly for Fun competition for 2011 was won by Dave Hardy. The All Up Last Down comp by Peter Mack.
COMPETITIONS 2012
FLY FOR FUN: The first Sunday in the month from February to November (If unable to fly for any reason, comp is deferred for a week, if not possible to fly then that round is cancelled. (Please note that a comp does not prevent non-competing members flying on that day. They can fly before and after the comp, and, providing they do not interfere with comp flights, during the proceedings) – All competitions will be e-mailed to members and posted on the website by January 2012 to allow practice leading up to the competition to try and tighten the gap at the top of the table.
THERMAL GLIDER: Tuesday 3rd July 7pm. Bungee or winch will be provided for launching. This comp is being held in the evening to take advantage of the lighter winds usually present at that time. In case of bad weather, comp will be deferred to following Tuesday.
ELECTRIC GLIDER (All Up Last Down): Tuesday 12 June 6.30pm. To allow the entry of more people who only own larger capacity lipo packs, up to 3300 3 cells will now be permitted, note an earlier start time as this will increase the longest time. As before unlimited nicad or nimh cells are permitted but I would assume these will be laid to rest now.
SLOPE SOARING COMP: Date To Be Arranged. Please contact Dave Johnson with entries if interested. Provisional date to follow.
ELECTRIC DURATION: Is open from January 1st to November 1st. It is the longest flight made using no more than 3300 3cell lipo or unlimited nicad or nimh packs but I would assume these will be laid to rest now. It must be made from the club flying site and independently timed by another CPF member who is also responsible for checking that the battery pack complies with the rules after the flight.
COMPETITION SCORING
Fly For Fun
1st – 10pts - 2nd – 8pts - 3rd – 6pts - 4th – 4pts - 5th – 2pts (2 Bonus points if someone wins all 3 events in a competition)
Slope Soaring
Winner only
Thermal Glider and Electric Duration
Winner only
Tower Talk
Mark has also provided these gems which it is sworn have come from genuine tower exchanges
But we begin with one non-aviation exchange that is too good to leave out
The chief of United States naval operations has released the following transcript of a radio conversation between a US Navy ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland.
US ship: Please divert your course 5 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
US ship: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert your course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert your course!
US ship: This is the USS Missouri; we are a large warship of the US Navy. Divert your course now!!
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
BACK TO THE AIRPORT
Pilot: Good morning, Frankfurt ground, KLM 242 request start up and push back, please.
Tower: KLM 242 expect start up in two hours.
Pilot: Please confirm: two hours delay?
Tower: Affirmative.
Pilot: In that case, cancel the good morning!
LH741:"Tower, give me a rough timecheck!"
Tower: "It's Tuesday, Sir."
Tower: Have you got enough fuel or not?
Pilot: Yes.
Tower: Yes what??
Pilot: Yes, SIR!
Tower: Shamu Two Two, please state estimated time of arrival.
Pilot: Ok, let's see..., I think Thursday would be nice...
Tower: Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!
Delta 351:Give us another hint! We have digital watches!
Tower: TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees.
TWA 2341: Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?
Tower: Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?
From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff line: I'm fiing bored!
Ground Traffic Control: Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!
Unknown aircraft: I said I was f¡ing bored, not f¡ing stupid!
O¯Hare Approach Control to a 747: United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound. United 329:Approach, I've always wanted to say this¡ I've got the little Fokker in sight.
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, What was your last known position?Student:When I was number one for takeoff.
A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down.
San Jose Tower Noted: American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport.
A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich , overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): Ground, what is our start clearance time?
Ground (in English): If you want an answer you must speak in English.
Lufthansa (in English): I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany . Why must I speak English?
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): Because you lost the bloody war!
Tower: Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7
Eastern 702:Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway.
Tower: Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?
Continental 635: Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern¡ we've already notified our caterers.
One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said,
What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?
The Cherokee pilot, came back with: I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one.
The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign: Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: Frankfurt , Speedbird 206! Clear of active runway.
Ground: Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven.
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: Speedbird, do you not know where you are going? Speedbird 206:Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now.
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before? Speedbird 206 (coolly):Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, And I didn¡'t land.
While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport , the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727.
An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!
Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?
Yes, ma'am, the humbled crew responded.
Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking:
Wasn't I married to you once?
Pilot: "Bratislava Tower, this is Oscar Oscar Kilo estabished ILS 16."
Tower: "Oscar Oscar Kilo, Guten Tag, cleared to land 16, wind calm - and by the way: this is Vienna Tower."
Pilot: (after a break for thinking) "Bratislava Tower, Oscar Oscar Kilo passed the outer marker."
Tower: "Oscar Oscar Kilo roger, and once more: you are approaching Vienna!"
Pilot: (another break for thinking) "Confirm, this is NOT Bratislava?"
Tower: "You can believe me, this is Vienna!
Pilot: (again, a break) "But why? We want to go to Bratislava, not to Vienna!"
Tower: "Oscar Oscar Kilo, roger. Discontinue approach, turn left 030 and climb to 5000 feet, vectors to Bratislava."
Tower (in Stuttgart): "Lufthansa 5680, reduce to 170 knots."
Pilot: "This is just like Frankfurt. They also have only 210 und 170 knots...But we're flexible...."
Tower: "We, too. Reduce to 173 knots."
Pilot: "Ground, XY-line 195, requesting start-up."
Tower: "Sorry, XY-line 195, we don't have your flight plan. What is your destination ?"
Pilot: "Like every Monday, to Leipzig."
Tower: "But - today is Tuesday !"
Pilot: "WHAT? But we're on holiday Tuesdays!"
Tower: "Delta Fox Alpha, hold position, Marshall will park you."
Pilot: "Roger. Looking out for John Wayne."
Tower: "Height and position?"
Pilot: "Well, I'm 1,80 m and am sitting in the front left"
Washington D.C., Clearance Delivery:
German Air Force 269, you are cleared to Destination Indian Springs via after take off radar vectors to 4000 feet thereafter present position direct BOM do not pass BOM at 6000 feet or below after passing 15000 feet turn right on heading 280 to intercept j156 direct ZZT thereafter intercept j158 own navigation read back.
GAF 269: Roger German Air Force 269 is cleared to Destination Indian Springs via after take off radar vectors to 4000 feet thereafter present position direct BOM do not pass BOM at 6000 feet or below after passing 15000 feet turn right on heading 280 to intercept j156 direct ZZT thereafter intercept j158 own navigation and I need another pencil.
Tower: "Cannot read you, say again!"
Pilot: "Again!"
Safer Flying
SOMETIMES it is good to take a good hard look at our flying habits. Have we been getting a little complacent as far as safety is concerned. The Club¡¯s Chief Safety Officer, Mark Armstrong, has been watching closely and he has some concerns, especially regarding landings close to the flightline, sometimes even towards the flightline.
He is also worried about some flyers not calling landings or low passes and going on to the field without announcing this clearly and loudly so that everyone knows this is happening, even if the pilots are concentrating on their flying.
Mark also reminds us all that all flyers should be standing reasonably close together on the flightline to minimise the risk of transmitters interfering with each other.
We make no apology for repeating this piece from an earlier newsletter on the subject of safety
To see our airborne video of the area around our field, taken by Chris Ratcliffe with music by The Who, please click below
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaNP3CfdlPI
The club has always had a great affinity for Filey near Scarborough in North Yorkshire where we have flown slope soarers off the cliffs at Filey Brigg for many years. Now that we fly electric soarers we are not so dependent on easterly winds. Safety officer Mark Armstrong and Comp Sec were flying from a field at nearby Reighton Sands on the edge of a holiday centre in September 2010 when Mark shot this video. You can just see the camera on his Easyglider (right).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUQYdInNkI0
